V? What about X?

Flash back to 2001: Elysia goes away for the summer to Europe where she literately bounces around Europe. Why does she bounce?

This is why:

V: Also known as liquid crack

I know what you're thinking, "Elysia, it's just Red Bull but with a different name." WRONG. So wrong. Two cans of this stuff will make you talk faster than you ever have in your whole life. You'll clean the house, do laundry, organize your drawers and scrub the insides of your fridge. That's two 250 ml cans. IMAGINE what three cans can do to a person...

So, what's in it? "A carbonated energy drink with 5 essential vitamins, invigorates you, replenishes energy levels, and improves mental alertness." Essential vitamins? I didn't know crack became classified as a vitamin.

And then you get into the small print near the bottom: "Not suitable for children, pregnant or lactating women, or persons sensitive to caffeine. Usage 2 cans max daily."

Needless to say, they don't sell this stuff in America. Probably because you never find out what the "5 essential vitamins" are since things don't have to be fully labeled here.

::slurp::

Good thing we're not in American anymore.